Monday, November 17, 2008

Being considerate in an uncaring world

I'd like to think the brat has his manners down pat. It may not be the Ps and Qs of the norm, but things which are more important than these mechanical reactions to me, his mother. Like sharing, like helping, like being concerned if a friend falls and gets hurt. Like seeing mamma overburdened with parcels and offering to carry a few, albeit end up dragging them over bumpy gravel and ruining them completely. Going apne aap to the water filter when people come over and fill the steel glasses (the only glasses apart from the plastic ones he's allowed to touch unsupervised) and bring them one by one to the guests. Offer them a choice of a cola or a juice, and act on the request, climb up on the sofa to make the fan faster for them if its a particularly humid day. He's that kind of a boy. A sensitive boy. Maybe not a gentle boy. Like his father. Who is the kind to never let a lady travel in the city late at night, and will always ensure that she is dropped home, no matter how inconvenient and how tired he is. And who offers lifts to any random hitchhikers on the highway, much to my terror of highway robbery gangs waylaying him.
The purpose of this rambling incoherent paragraph? This. The brat was a wee bit unwell over the weekend with a cold and so mamma decided he needed to be checked up by the pediatrician. And so we found ourselves in the clinic on a busy Monday morning, with truckloads of sniffling kids and harassed moms cramped in the closed confines. And the clinic has a heavy glass swing door that most moms with small infants found difficult to negotiate. Mamma asked the staff whether the door could be kept open, but was told it had been installed to keep the cool airconditioned air in and therefore keeping it open was not an option. The brat stood a while near the door while a lady struggled to open the door and manage her barely month old child, mamma stood up and held the door open. The brat then took on the onus of wrestling the door open everytime a mother with a baby in her arms came through, adding for good measure, chirpily, "Welcome, welcome," getting a smile and a thankyou and a what is your name from most, delighting him.
A mother and her perhaps eight year old daughter were sitting next to mamma, carrying the latest LV Graffitti, manicured and pedicured to perfection, hair blow dried and the picture of chicness. And the mother sniggered at the daughter, who sat in bovine contemplation, "Look at him, behaving like a watchman." And then the duo tittered much like the Wicked Sisters from the Fairy Tale of yore, and Mamma wished she had a glass slipper to throw at their heads. And to add insult to injury, said loud enough for the brat to hear. Mamma saw his face crumple. He left the door, walked upto them and gave them his equivalent of the middle finger. His little pinky held up to them in trembling anger. "Katti, katti," he said and came silently and sat next to Mamma. Mamma patted him, and said in a neutral tone, loud enough for the entire clinic to hear, "Its alright brat, you were very polite and helpful to all the other mammas. Some people here dont know how to be polite and helpful and so they cant recognise it when others are being polite. They can only recognise being mean and nasty because thats what they are."
A couple of other mammas with the small babies, who had been the recepients of the open door service called the brat across to them and made him play with their babies much to his delight. We went in for our check up. Mamma thought he had forgotten it all. As we left he turned pointedly to the tittering duo who were now looking at brat and Mamma sullenly, and said, "Bye, bye." In a painstakingly polite manner. Like he said to the rest of the crowd in the clinic.
Mamma's wondered if her ribcage would burst occasioned by heart swelling to obscene levels with pride at her little gentleman.

20 opinions:

Ron said...

This reminds me of these these 2 little boys in my building who help me park my car everyday. They run around trying to make the watchman open the gate faster for me, then stand at a safe distance and shout encouragement and directions while I reverse and also stop other kids from running across my way. I've seen them doing the same for other drivers as well. They make my day really.

This seems to have had an effect on some of the other kids who earlier used to take special delight in running across just as I started to reverse into my parking lot. They now join these 2 in shouting instructions or at least staying out my way.

Well behaved helpful kids usually have a good effect on other kids. Parents unfortunately are a different ball game. Some of the mothers don't like the new improved version of their kids and yesterday I heard one of them telling her son to stop doing the watchman's job :(

Sorry for the loooong comment the moment I delurked...I get carried away sometimes :)

Aneela Z said...

Rather our kids be watchmen than "constipated stick insects that look down on people" Kiran. You should keep on reminding the Brat to keep being the cheerful little helper that he is and not feel shy about it.

dipali said...

I'd love to have seen the nasty person's reaction to your response! Krish is a sweetie! Hugs.

Goofy Mumma said...

Oh what a little darling you son is. Well done lil boy, hope the world never tarnishes the helpful, kind little soul you are.Kisses from a moist eyed lady.

Mama - Mia said...

:)

i wont give a damn about Ps and Qs as long as Cubby is a sweet soul like your brat! thats all that matters in the long learn.

any finishing school will teach you the right manners, but knowing the right thing to do, is what life teaches you.

you have every right to be terribly proud Kiran.

Hugs to both!

cheers!

abha

Andy said...

Just kiss that boy for me, will you!! Wish the grown up(s) were more like him and the world would be a better place to live

Shilpa said...

I loved the "katti" part. It seems this would have more effect than the actual "finger". I hope the snooty lady can first learn some manners and teach some to her daughter too.

Indian Home Maker said...

Here though Blog Bharti today!
Proud of brat and you Kiran :)
I am never able to understand why some parents encourage their children to misbehave, and then when the child has learnt the lesson, they wonder why the child is so selfish/mean/whatever!
In the long run it's these gentle souls who have happier personal lives and leadership qualities. Think Barack Obama :))

momstir said...

I can feel your heart fill with pride! What an absolute gentleman. Wish we could all stay as innocent when we grow up.

I love Lucy said...

What a sweetheart!
Since when did being helpful voluntarily go out of fashion?

Anonymous said...

Oh nice! You've captured exactly what is needed in the world today (IMO). Sadly, I see this unhelpful attitude among wealthy desis - I try not to stereotype, but it's hard, when in the space of a week's trip to a city, the kids learn *not* to open doors for older people or give up their seats because that is not the norm there!

M

NainaAshley said...

What a loving, caring boy you have there! The world needs more people like him.

GG said...

so sensitive and so mature for a little child. He's definitely piling up on those brownie points from Jai Jai Bhagwanji :p

manju said...

Such a caring and mature boy! You must be proud of him.

Lovely story. I am glad I discovered this blog today thro BlogBharati.:)

DotThoughts said...

he is such a precious kid. here's a kaala tika for him and a huge muuuuah. you have raised him well, Kiran. This speaks volumes about you.

Neera said...

What stupid lady is that to think that way and then go on to pollute her young daughter's mind with her sickly thoughts. I can only feel sorry for both of them.

Krish and you, I am undoubtedly proud of!

mumbaigirl said...

I shudder to think how she treats actual watchmen. What a lovely son you have and what an unfortuante girl that is, to have a mother like that.

Noodlehead said...

sweel away, mama! krish is a wonderful, wonderufl child. hugs to him for being such a gentleman!

karmickids said...

Ron: Loved your long comment. I love long comments, so dont ever apologise for them. And those two boys sound like absolute sweethearts...

Aneela: Yup. Trying.

Dips: Oh, she became incredibly sour faced for the rest of the time she was there and carefully avoided looking at us. LOL.

Goofy mamma: :)

Abha: Yup. As long as his heart is in the right place, the rest will follow.

Andy: Did so.

Shilpa: He's katti with everything including his cycle...

Indianhomemaker: There is a saying in hindi, boya paid babul ka, aam kahan se khaoge...
when you have planted a thorny bush, how can you expect to eat mangoes. Apt na?

Momstir: :)

I love lucy: Well, I dont care if it is out of fashion. I am terribly old fashioned, and the brat can be the same if I have anything to do with it.

M: I know. Its awful. Kids are taught to hang onto their seats, not open door, generally expect the world to be their serfs. What are they going to do in the real world I wonder.

Naina, GG: :)

Manju: Welcome, and do come back.

Dottie: :)

Neera: I wonder what that child will grow up to be.

Mumbaigirl: Yup, its the attitude that disgusts me totally...every individual has his or her dignity...

Noodlehead: :)

Aditi's Album said...

Wow. What a lovely boy you have. I love his smart thinking on the Superman/Batman questions(No I dont know the answers, hence not even commenting on that post), but from your psots, he seems to be the most helpful boy of his age. Your DIL will praise you for training your boy swell and then your heart will swell with pride even more.

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