The brat is unusually silent before bedtime.
Then he burst out.
"Mamma, C pulled my nu nu."
C being neighbour little boy cum best friend in the whole wide world the brat worships at the altar of best friendhood. And a couple of years older than the brat.
Mamma blasted off into the stratosphere making a dent in the false ceiling with fragments of Plaster of Paris raining down on our heads. To an onlooker, Mamma merely put down the book she was hurriedly trying to complete seeing she has some five others to plough through in as many days. For professional purposes of course. For pleasure she has Vogue and L'Officiel and Dave Barry.
She composed her face and her voice into neutrality. Which meant she stopped herself through immense self control from grabbing brat by the shoulders and shaking him in a fury and was not screeching at ear piercing banshee levels. Eventually some sound came out of her suddenly dry and parched throat. "When?"
Brat looks up with the "I know I did something wrong look, but I need to tell you." look that she recognises from umpteen toys thrown out of the window, milk poured down the commode and food trashed into the can. "When we wuz playing in his house."
"And where was his mamma?"
"In d hall, wachchin TV."
Mamma's rusty brains clanked into action. This is the age for a bit of exploration she knows, having been there and done that quite a bit herself. But show and tell is different from show and pull, and she's a bit glad that her constant stern warnings that no one should touch nu nu or you scream has actually resulted in a confession of sorts.
So she decides to make light of it. Sternly. "Tell him not to do it again," she answers matter of factly. While deciding whether quarantine would be suitable for the offender in her mind. "And if you want to play with C, you bring him home here. When mamma is around. No more playing at his home. And if he does touch your nu nu again, tell aunty or mamma, right then and there. Not afterwards."
End of topic.
How do you, older and wiser moms, handle this?
Sunday, November 09, 2008
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15 opinions:
I think you handled it well. Don't show him that you are worried or upset about it or he might stop telling you entirely. Show enouh interest so that he thinks he needs to tell you.
I guess I'd have done the same thing. And maybe gathered enough courage to talk to the other mom and asked her to keep an eye out for such things. Though I know it is very tough thing to do. Maybe just mention it half jokingly to see how she reacts and take it from there?
there is a wiser way of doing this?
phew!
am sure brat will create enough noise for C to not attempt it again.
cheers!
abha
Whoa!!! No pearls of wisdom here. Watching this space for guidance for when this happens to me/us.
sounds like you handled it perfectly.
-d
aaaah! I dunno. I have enough trouble with him wanting to know why I'm structured differently from him and what my bra is...!!! To think there's more to come!
omg....now i am scared.my son is 3 and he probably wouldnt ben able to tell me if someone does it to him..
B
That was scary Kiran! It's good he came to you with and you were able to calmly weedle the details out. But scary nevertheless. Sorry, no experience in this regard!
I'm not a wiser mom, and I'm definitely not looking forward to this stage in my son's life!
Cee: I did. I laughingly told the mom, you know what the kids were upto when they were playing in your sons room? They were playing doctor doctor. She is quite a sensible thing, and she gave her son a little chat on how its not a nice thing to do, and could hurt Krish, so therefore...I think we're okay.
Abha: I really do want to know. I'm reading zillions of sites online to figure what to do the next this experimentation strikes again because now once it has started it is going to continue.
Ro: Knowing Ayaan, and seeing the brat, I can tell you to polish those lenses and pay attention.
D: You think so? I'm still wondering what I could have done better.
JLT: Just you wait. I thought I'd a couple of years more for this.
Bee: Ive been drilling it into Krish from the time he was able to understand nu nu that no one except mamma is to touch his nu nu or bum.
Just another mommy: Oh, I've realised I should
have won the Oscar for the calm act I put on.
Bombaygirl: You bet! Its scary. You can keep them away from dicey adults, but what about supervising them amongst other kids?
after reading your post I ran and asked the husband what the rules were...as in what qualifies as horseplay and what should set alarms in boyworld (no male siblings so wanted to know what was not kosher and what could be excused as boys rough housing)...and he thinks that though you can 'excuse' a kid kicking you there but no touching/pulling and that you should speak to the mother.
My sister thinks you should never scold your kid, even when they confess to something naughty, as they are not 'intelligent' enough to distinguish that you are not scolding them because they told you something but because of something naughty they did.
Of course, this was a different 'confession' on the part of Brat and it was impressive that you kept your calm.
Hope everything works out.
I was waiting for you to publish comments after I read your post, hoping for some guidance. Looks like you did the right thing, then. I am going to keep this in mind. Thanks for this post, K.
phew. so it did get sorted out.
k, you handled that really well in my opinion. i have no wisdom to share but looks like you didn't need it anyhoo. i'm just sorry that it's already started for the brat. hugs!
hmmm I have been through this. One girl friend of my daughter had tried to act in a funny way. I wanted to inform her mother but did not have the heart. She would obviously take the defensive route. I told my daughter to complain to her mother incase she tries some such act again. Touchwood, she has kept away after my daughter threatened her! Its really sad and I felt pity for that misguided child!
hi all,my daughter is now 12...and with girls the defense has to b put in place much earlier..i had bad experiences as a child when i was 5...10 later and they were all from uncles..there was nobody that i cud tell...the ground rule...make sure ur child tells u no matter what...2nd..i told her to scream like no tomorrow if anybody touches her in the wrong places...she has a scream that i can hear blocks off...it serves dual purpose..the attacker retreats in shock and i reach in the fastest way possible(she doesnt scream otherwise).the funny part was when the dr had to check her for cough..he almost fainted..and kiran brace urself..theres more to come
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